I went to him, and he took me
I let him, I
wanted him to.
I felt him tugging at
my clothing
my hair, my skin.
His teeth scraping,
dragging at
my flesh.
His breath caressing,
stroking my arms,
my spine.
His arms lifted me, and pulled me
I let him, I
wanted him too.
He sucked at my
breast, my soul.
He ignited me,
stoked me.
He came to me, and I took him
he let me, he
wanted me to.
I tugged at him, at
his clothing,
his flesh. I
tasted him, his
mouth, his
sweat. I caressed
him, his thigh,
his hair. I enveloped
him.
I engulfed him, eclipsed him.
He let me, he
wanted me too.
I sucked him, his
heart, his soul.
I ignited him,
stoked him.
We came together, and we took it.
We accepted it. We
wanted it.
It pushed us, to
join, to become
one. It teased us,
showed us, what
could be. It tugged
at us, our souls
separated. Again
only two, no
longer one.
6 comments:
I am reminded of one of the strictures given by the editor of magazine. Poetry may be about longing or desire, but never fulfillment of desire. I can't agree more.
evidently I didn't manage to communicate what I meant to communicate then. This is a poem about the desire to meld completely with another person and the inability to do so... the brief glimpse of what could be, snatched away...
I don't like this one. Sorry but it's lacking any original imagery, sound or feeling...I could be wrong but that might just be me an innocent Irish boy. Not!
I don't mind erotic poetry so much but I want it to be up to more than describing the physical. I want it to be less focused on the act so to speak and more on what is elevated in the union. I have this idea that poetry should elevate the reader even if it's a poem about physical needs. I won't say I always manage this myself. I honestly think I rarely do but I do strive for it.
I think the reaction you've gotten is much the same as if you'd written a piece about urinating or any other physical need that is considered by most to be too personal or base or animal to be elevating. (And I can envision a poem about such topics that would be elevating. Rembrandt did etchings of peasants relieving themselves in the fields that are poignant for example not base.)
I don't know if this is at all helpful but I hope so.
hahaha! Great comment adams. True it just seems too obvious.
this is an excellent example of why I rarely write poetry.
I'm just not good at it.
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