Friday, April 20, 2007

Omey Island

This is a poem about one of the Islands of the Conamara coast in Ireland. Omey Island can be reached by car over the sand. There are signs which mark the spots where a car can be covered over by the sea when the tide is high. I had written this once and I was very happy with it then something happened to my pc and I lost it so I had to write it again, not as good as the first one.

Omey Island
We waited for the tide to lower
before driving out to Omey Island
using the stretch across the sand
we saw bright yellow traffic signs that indicated
the highest route.

We were told, "When the tide is in, there are
places where the water is deep enough to cover a car."

When we got to the Island
"St Feichin," was on our lips.
as we darted around where a team of archaeologists
once arrived in search of hidden history.

We found a Holy Well situated by the western edge,
which once healed the sick
and an ancient church where vast stones were neatly stacked.
Silently, we stood marking our respect for a monastic burial ground
where an old rusty sign read:
"One of the few known burial spots in Ireland
where a woman was buried on monastic grounds."

We sat and thought of the women dead and gone
and the women that would go on to die.
We thought of our sins being washed away like the tide
like the gentle rising and falling egged on by the moon.

We thought of St Feichin who once stood
on sand dunes listening to the voice of his God,
listening to the chants of monks,
lifting up their hands to spread the gospel
over long stretch of sand and onto mainland.

When it was dark we packed inside the car
and headed back from our pilgrimage.
The headlights caught hold of signs
as we listened to the droning sound of something
out in the white covering fog that made it difficult to see.
It was water, we thought as we accelerated not wanting tide
to wash us all away.

We held our breathe, remembering the grinning toothless man
who told us, "Remember not to leave it too late, many a car and man
has been lost to sea."

A large yellow sign read, "Highest point."
as we heard the scrapping of the water against the car
the pounding sound beating against the chest,
"We are not going to make it out alive!"

We passed a few more signs and then
the sound slowly went away.

The fog faded, opening up a view of the mainland.

We drove past Claddaghduff and passed petrol stations,
the feel of road beneath us, no more sand,
no more water swirling all around us.
No more washing with the water that once healed
and spread its way across the bay from Omey Island.

3 comments:

Roust said...

There are a lot of good images in this, but I think the use of a more poetic language style would bring out the mood and enhance the overall effect. This definitely seems like a place with it's own mood and it should be showcased.

P.B. said...

I agree with Roust. I know this is very different from your usual stuff, Tiger, so I can understand that it would give you some difficulty. But longer pieces such as this need the same poetics that the shorter ones need. The language seems dry and without emotion as it is now. I believe you meant it to be very emotional so jump in with both feet. :)

I fiddled with the first stanza a bit to show you what I mean about the language:

We waited for the tide,
the rolling back out to sea,
leaving one strand of newly washed
sand, packed hard enough to cross.

My other main problem with this at the moment is that it seems to lack your usual focus. I'm not sure what it's about exactly. It sounds like a wonderful and spiritual place to visit so there are a good many subject there it seems. Maybe you could make this into a poetic cycle? One piece for each focus? Just a thought. Cheers to you for trying this. I would very much like to see the next draft.

Taidgh Lynch said...

Thanks for commenting. I realise that it needs to be more poetic at times it seems to sound like prose and that I am telling rather than showing.

I really want to show more to imagine the place and how it was. But it is difficult for me and was a real struggle at times to find any focus. I realise that the tension of getting off the island should have been greater. The muddle of the dead woman refering to the women dead past and present as well as trying to portray the missionaries of the island and how they spread the gospel throughout the west coast. Difficult for me, and yet I was trying to go in a different direction.

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