PBAdams always pesters me to write more poetry. So, here's a stab in the dark at an early morning haiku.
Cat rubs against sleepy legs
Child laughs with tired eyes
Morning breaks
Friday, March 30, 2007
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2 comments:
You complain but you know in the end it's good for you. Otherwise why do it? ;)
Just one thing about this:
"Cat rubs against sleepy legs"
Is Cat a nickname or a literal cat and who's legs are getting rubbed against? His? Yours? The child's?
Tis in the spirit of haiku mostly but for it to be a proper Haiku what you want is a great deal of clarity. Precision.
Good job. Keep after these. Thanks.
I didn't find any problem with the clarity of the first line. I hate haiku, but didn't see anything wrong with it.
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