The sun spills light over the craggy coastline
travelling up the wind-swept tundra,
illuminating coarse reds and granite greys
trailing above dense forests of bone,
weaving through an intricate
maze of ribs and skulls.
Beyond the landscape lies the great Atlantic Ocean.
It is wild, endless and deep. It hunts
in the harbour where trawlers sit huddled
together like hostages. Above clouds curl and darken.
Long-ago explorers carved vessels out of wood
setting out on voyages surrounded by storms
while those left on land gathered sticks,
telling tales around fires of brave mariners
who drifted off for days in search of land
and of souls lost somewhere in the deep.
The land still bears scars of missing
men, the starving sea tears out the
hearts of villagers, turns widows into pillars,
cuts grooves out there in that bleak horizon.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
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3 comments:
Sorry I'm a bit late with this...
Overall I do like it but I wish you'd worked a bit more. ;) For instance, craggy coastline? Me thinks an Irishman can do better. :D
This to me was the best of it:
Beyond the landscape lies the great Atlantic Ocean.
It is wild, endless and deep. It hunts
in the harbour where trawlers sit huddled
together like hostages, above clouds curl and darken.
I would like to suggest a comma after Ocean and lose "it is". Two its in the same stanza strikes me as too many. Then again, I could be wrong... Thanks, man! Cheers!
you are right there.. what is going on with this site?
Honestly, I have no idea. I do hate to let our little club go though. I was thinking we were all just taking a break...
I'll post a new short one in a minute just for you though. :D
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