Poetry is the original soul food.
It need not rhyme nor even march in time.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Record
Captured on a plate of glass, an echo filters through tone of sepia, over the dark monochrome landscape over night breeze seas into the lonely white sky of syllables.
tiger, i really enjoyed this one. I like the "sky of syllables" line, i thought that was amazingly great. i got caught up on the fact that you used the word "over" twice so close together, but then when i think about it, it does kind of bring the circling image of a record...and then i like the rhythm of those lines with the two "overs". so now i'm being completely unhelpful. also, this part, " through tone of sepia" caught me up a little but at the same time i liked the disjunction...so i'm not sure that i would change it...lol hows that for nonspecific??
Tiger, my friend, this is really fine, so fine it made me smile start to finish. No lie.
I realize probably most people are going to misunderstand what you're describing and I don't give a damn. I still wouldn't change it! When you're famous they'll have a whole intro on you so people will get it. :D
Don't change a syllable of this, and oh yes, I am jealous of that last line. LOL
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2 comments:
tiger, i really enjoyed this one. I like the "sky of syllables" line, i thought that was amazingly great. i got caught up on the fact that you used the word "over" twice so close together, but then when i think about it, it does kind of bring the circling image of a record...and then i like the rhythm of those lines with the two "overs". so now i'm being completely unhelpful. also, this part, " through tone of sepia" caught me up a little but at the same time i liked the disjunction...so i'm not sure that i would change it...lol hows that for nonspecific??
Tiger, my friend, this is really fine, so fine it made me smile start to finish. No lie.
I realize probably most people are going to misunderstand what you're describing and I don't give a damn. I still wouldn't change it! When you're famous they'll have a whole intro on you so people will get it. :D
Don't change a syllable of this, and oh yes, I am jealous of that last line. LOL
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