this heat slows time
nearly freezing night air
where afternoon showers still
linger, padding midnight whispers;
a lone car's sleepy swish
palely rising
falling sirens
the neighborhood stray
moaning complaints
to the listening streetlights
shining in constellations
just overhead
6 comments:
i like the reference to the streetlights like stars or is it the other way around? I like this play with words.
to the listening streetlights
shining in constellations
just overhead
I'm trying to think of something to say, like suggestions on how to improve. i can't find anything wrong with it. I like the sounds and the slow quiet voice, even though there seems to be a bit of noise or activity happening. Good going, looking forward to more poetry. Cheers!
I think this is a great piece.
Speaks to the imagination, it immediately conjures up images.
Well written!
I definitely agree with Tiger and Josephine. I can offer no improvements at all. Well done!
Is my memory screwy or weren't you a fiction writer? I think you may have crossed into the poet's realm now. :D
haha! I seem to remember the same thing pb. Do you think we were responsible for LO's conversion?
I like the word 'palely'.
thanks for the comments everyone. i guess since i'm doing so much schoolwork with poetry i'm more and more intrigued by it...plus i like saying so much in a small space. i think i'm getting addicted!!
LO, this really is nice work. Don’t change anything…I like it.
-Steve
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